Sunday, April 11, 2010

Marlie's punch list

  1. People with no spatial awareness. When there is a whole entire elevator for just you and I, why do you have to stand so close to me that our elbows touch?
  2. People who shove past you to get on the bus/in the elevator/whatever first.
  3. Speaking of elevators, people who stand front and center in the elevator, and don't move for others to get on/off.
  4. Recruiters for Greenpeace, the ACLU, PETA, the Red Cross and other (really important and worthy) organizations who don't get that someone really, actually MIGHT NOT HAVE TIME to talk (as if the crazed half-run-half-walk down the street wasn't indication enough), not that I hate puppies or something.
  5. People who don't abide by pedestrian "traffic laws." Why is it so hard to stay on the right side of the sidewalk? And why, when you do see me coming towards you, do you not step over the slightest bit so that I don't have to step off of the sidewalk into the street to pass you? Also, I want to punch people in the back of the head who suddenly stop walking or just turn around without paying any attention to the fact that there are likely people walking behind them. And really, if I see one more group of people walking 4–5 abreast, I'm going to go postal. (See "Sidewalk Hogs.")
  6. People who use poor grammar. You're an adult and you still don't know the difference between you're/your, their/there/they're, to/too/two, and peek/peak? Seriously, seeing it written incorrectly makes my eyes bleed. Same goes for people who use the word "irregardless."
  7. People who tweet or Facebook updated each and every single mundane detail of their day. I *really* don't need to know that you're going to take a bathroom break before you clip your toenails.
  8. The guy who rats you out at work because you came in 15 minutes late, even though he knows that you usually stay 45–60 minutes late every day.
  9. People who act like they were the first people in the world to ever have a boy-/girlfriend, get married, or have a baby.
  10. Line jumpers. I want to spit nails when someone looks at me standing in line, and then just walks up to the register and ignores everyone else who was patiently waiting their turn. I'm talking to you, woman from the grocery store yesterday. You looked right at me, with my arms full of stuff, and went AROUND ME to purchase your crap.
Whew! I feel better now.


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