Monday, April 19, 2010

Michaela's punch list


  1. Washington State Lottery commercials. A) This commercial is about a guy who wins the lottery and his big dream is to spend his time and money building an elaborate robot that can throw a Frisbee to his dog OR B) Another ad from the same campaign where some lottery winner funds an enormous project that allows non-flying birds the experience of flight and shows footage of penguins, chickens, ostriches, and other earth-bound birds soaring through the air via specialty gliders.
  2. The lyrics to that annoyingly catchy hit-song "Big Girls Don't Cry" by Fergie.
  3. Automated company phone systems that tell you, "Your call is important to us" and then subject the customer/client/caller to muzak, infomercials for other company products and dozens of push-button options, none of them even vaguely related to the reason that you have called.
  4. The disgusting skin that forms on the surface of boiled milk.
  5. How the flavor of green peppers permeates the taste of everything that they are cooked with.
  6. All of the actions that have resulted in the depletion of the ozone layer and the creation of tanning beds.
  7. Unsportsman-like conduct (I am looking in the mirror on this one). I usually find this kind of behavior deplorable when witnessed and like to think of myself as a stranger to any unkind thoughts, revenge fantasies or childish actions like taking the ball home. However,I can't seem to remember any of this when I am losing.
  8. Jimmy Choo shoes—they sure are pretty but they hate my feet and I hate them right back.
  9. The sentiment (usually found at the bottom of those loathsome chain emails) "If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you can read this in English, thank a soldier."
  10. How after waiting for my nails to dry after every manicure that I have ever had, I end up fucking at least one of them up within ten minutes.

3 comments:

NylaWoodcock0502 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Fanboy Wife said...

I always manage to mess up my nails after I paint them too.

nata_says_so said...

Number 10!!! Grrr, I hate that. It happens to me EVERY TIME.