Friday, April 30, 2010

Dogs in bandannas

Is your dog sweating? Are you trying to catch stray kibble crumbs? Protect his back from a nasty sunburn? Cover up a bald patch like an aging rocker (sorry Bret Michaels)? Are you trying to brighten his complexion? Add a spot of color that complements his coat? Draw attention up and away from his ample girth?

No?

Then untie that doggone neckerchief and let him be a dog. If you haven’t noticed, dogs come with built-in clothes called fur. The only accessory they need is a collar. Wrap them up in your love, not squares of cotton festooned with stars or pink ribbons or dancing bears. They don’t need a porn star neckerchief or a redneck bowtie or a bib or a little color to draw the eye up. You, on the other hand, are another story. May I suggest something in a shade of black or blue to match your muzzle after I punch you in the face?

14 comments:

Glass Houses said...

the bandanas dont bother me as much as the actual little doggie OUTFITS. Your dog does not need a purse.

Pretty Things said...

Does dressing my dog in outfits for Halloween and Christmas get punched too? I do it bc it is funny. And when it's really cold I'll put my girl dog in a shirt or sweater, only bc she tries to put her head into them when I am dressing foster dogs who actually need the layers!

In other words, don't punch me please. I would never and have never even considered a dog bandanna. Sick.

Slow Joe said...

What a boring blog. Good grief what a silly premise for a blog.

Some dogs like to wear simple things. Mine likes bandannas. It's simply an affection thing. In 2010, the fast majority of dogs are not owned for any practical reason. The entire animal's existence is based on simple enjoyment. So your argument that the bandanna has to have a purpose is simply irrational.

And you only said this because you aren't creative enough to support a blog based on constantly criticizing annoying things. This could be funny, but in your hands, it's just petty attacks on simple and good stuff.

People wear decorations too. I guess that's your next post. DAMN EARRINGS!!!!!

Tip: if your dog is not comfortable being left alone while you work, rotate a bandanna. Put on in your pocket, and the next day, put it on your dog. I rescued an abandoned dog who was much happier and less destructive when wearing something that smelled like me.

It's just love. Some people will want to punch you in the fact for that, apparently.

Harmonie said...

LOL -- hilarious! Even though I DO like dogs in bandanas ... lol. I confess I think it's cute.

Yet Another Steve said...

Slow Joe - Okay so, you like to dress your dog up in little Barbie outfits, and this is just "simple and good stuff" and anyone who disagrees with you is a stupid poopy-head. Okay, we get it. Now go read Fashions For Doggies or whatever your own doubtless fascinating blog is, and here's a tip for YOU: if you find this blog so boring, don't read it. 'Cause frankly, reading about how bored you are is, well, boring.

CarlaCarlaCarlaCarla said...

• I once saw a lab sporting an amusing scarf imprinted with the words: Who you callin a bitch?

• Certainly a size rule should apply here. Any dog short enough to drag the fabric in the dirt is grounds for disqualification. As for the thing pictured here — that's not a real live critter, is it?

• Something tells me SlowJoe may be one of those kids who takes life seriously. I'd have applauded his practical owner's smell tip as ingenious if only he'd cautiouned pet owners to keep the neckwear loose enough to be wriggled out of, in the event it ends up hung on something in their absence.

• And yes PrettyThings, I'm afraid Halloween / Christmas outfits are the worst.

509DevonG_Carreras0 said...
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思穎思穎 said...
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ElvisS_Scholten0188 said...

Well done!........................................

Fanboy Wife said...

What about those Snuggies for dogs? Those are the worst!

(I'm going to confess that I like the hot-dog Halloween costume because it's funny. Pretty Things, your crimes are forgivable!)

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Anonymous said...

a red bandanna usually signifies a dog that shouldn't be approached without first talking to the person walking the dog, either its aggressive or unstable

Adrian Prazen said...

I put a red bandana on my dog so that I can see him in the brush. Please, go punch yourself in the face jackass.

Christy Wilkinson said...

Some dogs just look really good in bandanas, and it's fun. Also, my dog's artfully arranged bandana hides her bald spot nicely and pulls the eye away from her bulging midriff while accentuating her buff shoulders and complementing her sparkling eyes. Truthfully, I grabbed what I had conveniently close to tie around her neck to keep her from scratching at a tender spot that developed and decided that the bandana thing just worked for her. She likes it too. She stands more proudly when she wears her colors. Also, everyone knows who she belongs to this way.