Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Jaded's punch list

  1. Fliers. We live in the age of information and pollution, and you still think producing enormous waste by spreading A5 piece of papers that no one will read is the best way to advertise your product/event/whatever?
  2. Global warming and those who don't believe in it. My neighbor's six year old saw snow for the first time in his life this winter. Stop thinking that two weeks of cold balances the melting icecaps.
  3. Glenn Beck and his followers. They are the reason why the rest of the globe thinks Americans are dumb.
  4. Plastic starlets. They look fake, act stupid, and have little to no talent, but still get to appear on my screen, just to annoy me. Go away, Heidi!
  5. Parents who use their kids to make themselves look better. No matter how many beauty pageants, science competitions or sports venues they excel at, you are still the boring, fat housewife that will make her 10 year old practice the piano instead of letting her play outside. And 99 out of 100 will not thank you when she grows up.
  6. People obsessed with weight. We met 10 years ago; in the mean time, I learned two languages, majored, moved twice, won competitions, got promoted, got married, had a kid, and your most important observation is how thin I am? Bugger off!
  7. Stereotypes. There are pretty women with brains, hunky men with conscience, WoW players with family and real life. Just because you're neither of the above, they exist.
  8. Texting and how it infiltrates any written media. English is a beautiful language, use it! And put that damn cell down, there's a whole world worth seeing around you!
  9. People who think blogging = journalism.
  10. People who think they are better than the rest. No matter what makes you feel that way, age, weight, skin color, financial status, bloodline, whatever. You are only human, like the wrinkly old beggar in the rags on your corner. Deal with it!

Thanks a lot for letting me vent!



SkitzoLeezra said...

You lost me at #2. Global warming is yet something else Al Gore invented. Let's talk about the carbon offset financial instrument to fleece the angst-filled. Bernie Madoff wished he had such genius. I pour a quart of brand new motor oil down a random storm drain every each time I see that contrived polar bear on his floating icecap. Puh-lease. Everyone knows that he was a convicted crack smokin' rogue bear and was purposely pushed towards Australia after being convicted by jury of his peers.
Besides, it snowed twice in south Louisiana this year.

Wilma Lee said...

Skitzoleezra, you are so funny. Enjoyed your humorous remarks about global warming. At least I HOPE you were kidding...

Skitzo Leezra Studio said...

Thanks Wilma,
I meant some of it.

Anonymous said...

Number 5: Parent's don't do this to make themselves look better, it's just not true. Parents want to give kids all the things that they never had, or were never good at.

I'm only 18, and I can already think of tons of things I want my kid to do, because I was never good at them or never had a chance.

My mom made me sit down and practice piano, and forced me to do my homework, and my dad dragged me to swim practice at 5 AM and I hated it all then. But now I am so grateful because they made me the person I am now and I am in the best business program in the country, and it's all because of them "trying to make themselves look good".

If you are a parent, then I hope you are making your kids do lots of things they hate, cause if you're not then they'll hate you when they grow up with no talent.