Monday, April 20, 2009

Scrappy Doo

When thinking about characters that single-handedly torpedoed a TV show, yippy Scrappy Don’t tops the list (Cousin Oliver, I'm gunning for you next). What the fuck were Hanna and Barbera smoking when they introduced this punk-ass bitch into the pack? Even Cesar Millan would lose his shit after watching you for one episode.

The Scooby gang was handling their mysteries just fine when Scooby’s Great Lame nephew arrived on the scene. Puppy power my ass. Freddy should take off his porn star kerchief and strangle Crappy Doo. Shaggy could get hopped up on Scooby snacks, get behind the wheel of the Mystery Machine, and run down Scrappy Poo. Velma should fit him with a choke chain and dump this cocky little canine in pound prison; I'm sure a few older pooches would be happy to take him in hand and make him their bitch. Maybe one of the geezer ghosts could haunt Scrappy Doo Doo for all of eternity, the way this shrill pill haunts my Saturday-morning nightmares. The beat-down possibilities are endless, but the ultimate responsibility lies with family. Uncle Scooby needs to suck it up, ball up a paw, and thrash this whippersnapper within an inch of his short life.

I’ve got two words for you, Yappy Doo. Rut roh.

(photo: newsfromme.com/images8/scrappy1.jpg)

9 comments:

mduette said...

Ro Rue! (so true) Hilarious.
I often surmised that Scrappy's sole purpose was to annoy the piss out of Shaggy so much that he would be forced to grow a pair.

Or maybe I meant me ;)

Whit said...

YES! I hate that little bastard with the white hot passion of a thousand burning suns. I'll hold him down, you pummel him.

DaddyGregor said...

There's nothing wrong with Scrappy that a magazine full of .40 S&W wouldn't fix...

You all talking about merely beating the piss outta him oughtta remember... he is scrappy. Hell... it's his name.

No, if you really wanna fix the problem, he's gonna need to be put down for good. Happy to oblige. Now where did we last see him?

Evelyn said...

So weird, I just mentioned the Mystery Machine in a note to a friend earlier today! You're always leading the way, my friend.

Alexis said...

Uch, Scrappy and Cousin Oliver! What about the next door neighbor kid who joins the Partridge Family band? Hello! He's not a Partridge!

sharikrsna said...

I agree with Whit! I hate the little bastard equally! He ruined the show, and I quit watching it. I now only watch the ones with the old hippie version of the opening song.

Sewfast said...

So true!!!

Chris said...

i'm cryin heea!!


okay, but don't pick on Boo Boo. i fuckin love him.

Karnak said...

I could never stand Scooby Doo in the first place. Why on Earth is there a laugh track on a cartoon?