While I’m not keen on long Florence Griffith-Joyner nails on chicks, I really get goosebumps when I see long talons growing out of a dude’s nailbed.
What’s that, you say? You need them to play the guitar? Grow some calluses; they don’t need to be as long as a butter knife. Your pinky nail helps transport coke to your right nostril? Get a dollar bill and let it snow Bret Easton Ellis-style. You display them in your drag show? Press-on nails have come a long way, baby. You just don’t see the big deal about constant grooming? You’re going to be a man of constant sorrow if you don’t trim, file, or chew those claws down to a reasonable length.
If you insist on using your fingernails as chopsticks, be prepared for your nails and the hands they are attached to (and the arms the hands are attached to and the body the arms are attached to…) to get a massive scratch-down from my very functional active-length nails. And when I'm done, I'll sprinkle a healthy dose of nail polish remover over the raw areas, just because I'm thoughtful that way. If you can't take the tough love, next time, cut yourself to the quick, so I don't have to.
(photo: www.flickr.com/photos/bob_harlow/2767710828/)
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26 comments:
Man nails are tops on the creep factor! gross! My top man peeve though is the old man pony tail. Bald men with a total of 9 hairs on the sides of their head that they grow out to 2 feet in length and then pull it back into a greasy gray ponytail. It always looks like it's a permanent ponytail, like they are afraid to undo it because the hair will fall out. ugggggg. Please vent on this one for me! suzy
COULD NOT AGREE MORE. These rank very extremely high on the "disgusting, get away from me, don't touch me or come near me" list.
one of the most (and only) disturbing things about the movie Proof was PS Hoffman's talons.
Freddy Krueger is the only man allowed to have long nails...and he's fictional. All other men should be attacked by Krueger himself in their "Nightmare on Nail Street" dreams!!
Yea, I have to work with a guy like this, and he's a nice guy too...I don't get why he can't see that he's being fucking disgusting.
My fav is the single long ass pinky nail... UM WE KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING! Best when you spot it in the corporate work place. Shameless.
Coke-dealer nails. Love your blog! We hate the same shit!
I don't think there is anything that prompts my gag reflex more than a man with long nails. It's tops on my list. A man's hands say so much about him! And THAT is not what I wanna hear.
Daddy, say rather that you don't understand it. We, other people, know what long nails sexually mean.
Wow, you chicks need to get a life, why are you worried about someone else's nails i have long nails, and it is not something i set out to do, they just grow like that, so don't hate because you can grow your nails that is not my problem.
I'm a guitarist with long fingernails. It is definitely somewhat creepy looking, but it is a sacrifice we make on just four of our fingers. Any serious finger-picking guitarist would not cripple his performance and tone by "building up calouses" on his picking hand.
You women won't think a man with long fingernails is creepy after you hear "recuerdos de la alhambra" on his guitar ;)
Ouch. someone's got issues :-)
I love my long nails. I get them professionally done (acrylic) and professionally polished. I keep them clean shiny and well maintained and filled regularly.
I am proud of my nails and I enjoy them. My current color is China Glaze Sun Worshiper. one of my favorite colors.
http://www.mylittlemouse.com/other/nails.jpg
as long as they're pointy and used for self defense! Grow up people
Oh my goodness! Incredible article dude! Thanks, However
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Omg u girls are mean! I get French tips every other week and once a month pink and whites! I luv to have e pretty nails! I'm a crossdresser and luv it u mean girls can go bye
One day you will meet me. And you will volunteer to eat your own excrement just to go home the next day. Enjoy today, tomorrow is not here yet.
I'm a girl and my opinion is that long nails are disgusting. I hate then.. yuck!
I'm a girl and my hubby has long nails, even longer have mine. I love them. We both have acrylics, we go to the salon together. Its quite enjoyable that we both have something to do together. Quite often both would have the same color
everybody knows long nails turns everybody on I mean everybody. Girl's and boys. now you know the whole story
There's a reason real lesbians don't wear their fingernails long...
I'm a guy with long nails. My nails aren't extremely long, but I do like to keep my nails long to help pick and comb my beard. Having long nails helps easily remove any knots or tangles in my beard without tearing out patches of hair. If someone doesn't like them then cover your eyes and don't look at them.
Guitarist here. Callouses grow on the left hand as it frets the strings. The right hand picks the strings and fingernails improve the tone, volume, dynamics of the instrument along with the agility and durability of the fingertips allowing for better sound and more endurance. So important are fingernails to a serious fingerstyle guitarist that some pieces could not be played to any semblance of the intended song.
Long nails are a turn on . I was a cronic nail biter. Almost lost all my nails about 3 months ago that's how far I had them bitten down. I stopped biting them and said that's it. Now they're getting long and nobody likes them. But they like them when I was losing my fingernails. There's some screwed up people out there and I'm not one of them
Callous on fret board hand, better look a little closer on guitar idols..lol
you are stupid as fuck if you let someone elses nails bother you so much. fuck off you old pricks with no respect for anyone but yourself.
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