Monday, June 22, 2009

Texting at the table

You’re having a lovely time at dinner with friends or family. Maybe you’re even on a date. Conversation, along with the wine, is flowing. You’re relaxed and feeling connected. You’re experiencing the power of now.

Then someone pulls out a cell and checks his text messages. He might try to be subtle about this, holding it below the table so you’re only tipped off by the glow of the screen and the fact that he hasn’t heard what you just said.

What am I, chopped liver? Who are you texting who could possibly be more important than me? What could be cybersaid that could rival the pearls of wisdom and wit dropping from my lips?

Everyone agrees that it’s rude but when it’s you, you always find a way to rationalize it. So as not to be a massive tool and hypocrite, I have to admit that I’ve been guilty of this, when in the throes of a weird text and IM-only relationship. But no more (I'm tired of punching myself in the face). If I need to text or call someone, that’s what the bathroom or the front door is for.

I can see only a couple of instances where texting at the table might be allowed:
  1. You’re a brain surgeon, or someone else with a job way more important than mine, and you’re on call. And if this is the case, excuse yourself and take care of your thumb business out of my sight line.
  2. You’re by yourself, since your friends have ditched you and your boorish behavior.
The most fitting punishment, aside from breaking your thumbs, would be to take that snazzy new iPhone of yours and drop it in a really large glass of red wine.




Flor Larios Art said...

I hate it too...

Chris said...


WHAT can put me in a raging black funk faster than this!? This is the LAMEST, most OFFENSIVE thing a person can DO at a TABLE where s/he is dining WITH someone! The second rudest, most cement-headed thing people can do at a dinner table is talk on their cell phone. YES! It IS!

WHY do we have to have instant contact with each other, when we AREN'T IN CONTACT WITH EACH OTHER?! Can anyone possibly, at any moment, have something happening virtually that's so important that the HUMAN BEING who is sitting next to them suddenly becomes invisible?!!??!?!?!


I hate it. I wish everyone who tried to use a phone for calling or texting when at a table with someone they aren't calling or texting would get an instant taze. It wouldn't take long to cure society of THIS piece of crap!! Oh, why don't we just SMOKE in CROWDED ELEVATORS?! HUH? I know! Let's STOP in the middle of the lane and make everyone behind us WAIT, while the next lane's clear and we can get in to make the right we forgot to make!? Oh, Why don't we take a dump on the linens?!!

I sure hope this is the post I meant to comment on.

Jennifer said...

First, I love your blog. Awesome. Second, texting at the table is the WORST thing EVER. A friend and I were out to dinner the other night and in the middle of my recent breakup story, she starts TEXTING HER BOYFRIEND. i wanted to punch her in the face.

Bethany said...

I had a boyfriend (an ex now) who would just pull out his cell phone no matter where we were or what we were doing and text his friends NONSTOP. It was one of his more (many) irritating traits.

Thank God I dumped the Table Texter! Now I'm marrying a guy who *gasp* enjoys my company MORE than the company on the other end of his texts!! Craaaaazyyyyyyy...

Beth said...

What happened to our manners when we entered the age of cell phones, texting, etc.? Did these people not have manners to BEGIN with, which I suspect, or did their manners disappear into the dark side? It still amazes me when I see 2 or more people sitting at a table in a restaurant, ALL either texting or talking on their cells, rather than each other. First it was people talking so loudly on their cell phones so that everyone around them got the pleasure of hearing about their sordid lives (me, me, pay attention to MEEEEEE), and now it's texting at the table.
Go ahead and text at the table when you take me out, shweetheart, and when you look up, I'll be gone.

Karnak said...

I cannot recall the last time I went out to eat and I haven’t seen 2 people on a date both texting. The only excuse for this is if they’re both recently deaf and haven’t learned sign language yet. I’ve even seen entire families texting (even the little kids) while they let their food get cold on the table.

Anonymous said...

I've had this happen to me and I've also had them talk to friends and previous flings while on a date. That's the best thing you can do to completely mess up any type of conversation between you and your date. You can't help but ask ..."who was that?" So I think the best thing to do is to ask for the other persons number so you can ask that person out ;)