Sunday, June 28, 2009

Intentionally misspelled titles

I was just reading the latest issue of Allure (I’m its Seattle reporter) and read a quote from cover girl Fergie. When asked why she named her album The Dutchess and not the proper “duchess,” she had this to say (hint: she's not from the Netherlands): “The spelling is different because I didn’t want people who didn’t know how to say it to call it ‘the Douche-ess.’”

It gets better.

“I thought, ‘Let me dumb-ify it a little bit.’ Sometimes you smarten things up and get more clever with words. It’s fun to go the other way, and it’s always nice for people not to expect as much from me.”

Um, sweetcheeks, sorry to break it to you, but after “My Humps,” I wasn’t exactly expecting you to play chess with Bill Gates. But I did hope that you'd proofread the title of your CD.

Is it street to be stupid? Is it in vogue to be a low-forehead asshat? Call me nutbar, but why not use your celebrity to educate and elevate your audience? Why ya gotta be an inglourious basterd?

This sort of widespread dumbing-down interferes with my pursuit of happyness. And it certainly chaps my lovely lady lumps. I guess the only way to deal with these spellwreckers is to grab an OED and knock some sense—or at least an ability to spell the title of their album or film correctly—into them.

(photo: hi.baidu.com/twilight_zone/blog/item/94b3d1667f7d9a20ab184cda.html)

8 comments:

That Damn Monkey said...

Simply glorious, Jen. Love it!

(formerly @monkeh)

Vamp said...

Ye Gods, is her fan base that incredibly stupid that they couldn't pronouce the correctly spelled Duchess? If so, at least it shows she 'gets' her fans.

Beth said...

How refreshing...it's about TIME someone finally spoke out about the rampant misspellings, poor grammar, and lousy punctuation that nobody seem to care about any more. My hat's off to you, Jennifer.
And when asked about it, could her answer be any MORE stupid?
I just discovered your blog. You are an extremely clever writer. Keep on telling the truth! Thanks!

KlevaBich said...

Good god almighty. This sort of thing makes me want to kill someone.

Our society is going to hell in a handbasket, I tell you! We'll soon be a society of gibbering, illiterate idiots. If we're not already.

backwardcircle said...

Led Zeppelin.

Shibby said...

How the current teenage generation has developed its own personal form of actually moving in reverse on the learning spectrum is partially due, in part, to people who say dumb shit like that. Kids these days peak grammatically at around, oh, 9 or 10 and then back down the intellectual latter they go, right back to where they came from. What is this purposefully misspelling of words they do now? When I misspell it has everything to do with me not knowing the proper letter alignment for the thought I’m trying to convey and nothing to do with having to put extra time and effort into actually appearing less intelligent than I am expected to be. But with these kids, they misspell “is”… it’s now ‘iz’. That’s not even a freaking abbreviation, it’s not even saving them any time; none whatsoever. It serves absolutely zero purpose except perhaps, to piss off their parents. Maybe it’s the new-age form of rebellion? No road-loading for these teens, just illiteracy. Nothing says “Suck it Mom and Dad” like broadcasting to the world in black and white (often bold, italicized, underlined and double-underlined) font that you, their pride and joy, is a full-fledged dumbass. I know I can’t help but thinking, “Wow, where did that kid’s parents go wrong?!” I guess these little dummies have employed far more successful tactics to stick it to Mom and Dad than my staying up on the phone ALL NIGHT LONG, on a SCHOOL NIGHT ever did. Yah you read that right, I said school night bitches! And all that ultimately landed me was a 2-week grounding from my beloved partner-in-crime… the chunky house phone (RIP house phones and home phone #’s). And yes, you guessed it, it was the cordless kind! little’d i no allz i had2du wuz look like @n A55 2 piss tha Ps off…

Futurelaw89 said...

Pursuit of Happyness is intentionally spelled wrong you dumb bitch.

Anonymous said...

Futurelaw89 said...
Pursuit of Happyness is intentionally spelled wrong you dumb bitch.

You'll be a better lawyer if you do some research before opening your yap. The title was lifted from (misspelled) graffiti.