Thursday, June 25, 2009

New Yorker cartoons

I have never, ever subscribed to The New Yorker.

There. I said it.

Call me unsophisticated, a troglodyte, a knob, whatev. I’m okay with it. I read The Pew Yorker occasionally when hanging out with friends more refined than me. But after eyeballing an issue, I put it down and walk away. It makes me feel stupid and I’m already full-up in that department.

It’s not the articles. I can deal with a lengthy piece now and again and I’m always able to soldier through “Shouts & Murmurs” and reviews with little damage to my ego.

And it’s not the pompous Mr. Peanut dandy who represents. I get it. Dudes with monocles read The New Yorker. As they should. It’s their thing, along with spats and a penchant for crème brûlée (not to mention words using the accent aigu).

It’s the goddamn cartoons. When I'm in a dentist's office, I'd still rather reach for Highlights than The New Yorker. I can always detect what doesn't belong in a picture but fuck if I know what is clever or funny about a cartoon of a dude who, while raking leaves, holds up a maple leaf and says to his wife, "They're all pretty, but this one is my favorite"? Am I missing something? Like IQ points or my frontal lobe? I'd like to change this caption to read: "You know, Jennifer could dip this in resin or metal and make a five-pointed weapon to kill me with." That I would understand. That I could get behind.

I want to punch these cartoons in their smug, insidery face. What's black and white and red all over? A New Yorker cartoon after I've beaten it to a bloody pulp.

What New Yorker cartoon had you scratching your head?

(photo: This cartoon I get.)

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

"What's black and white and red all over?"

Paraphrasing the Daily Show: The balance sheets of printed media.

Jennifer Worick said...

I so saw that Daily Show ep. Hilar.

Anonymous said...

I don't think there's a funnier one-two punch on TV than the Daily Show and the Colbert Report.

Cameron said...

Can a brow get so high that it actually leaves your face? Discuss amongst yourselves.

Jennifer Worick said...

If you have seen Danielle on the Real Housewives of New Jersey, you would know this to be true. But I can guarantee she does not read the New Yorker, just brochures on Botox.

Krista Kenner said...

Oh my god...
(Expressed for so many reasons - not the least of which is this post - so true)

I've seen this blog before and didn't put 2&2 together - it's YOU! Hilarious! Internet stalking finally pays off! Hilarious blog.

Jennifer Worick said...

What a small world! How are you?

Unknown said...

I never thought much of New Yorker cartoons. Seinfeld devoted an entire episode to it. I'm still laughing about Cameron's comment..LOLOLOL!!!! I think she says it all.

ACCox said...

I get the leaf joke. But then I'm certifiable (or should that be "certifibble" in this woebegotten age..)

SkitzoLeezra said...

And while we're at it, let's all line up and kick Garry Trudeau in the face and kidneys for his lame-ass Doonesfairy comic strip. Garry with 2 R's? Watch your back, bitch!