I know it’s like shooting spray-tanned fish in a barrel but I want this gruesome pair to go away. I want their 15 minutes to be up, done, over. Like Brian Dunkleman or Jimmy Hoffa, I want them never to be heard from again. They are ugly people, inside and out, famous for nothing except venom and vapidity. Paris Hilton used to be the poster child for meritless celebrity but Speidi has kicked her to the curb.
Spencer’s a straight-up dick to his family, friends, and strangers. He’s barely civil to his grandma. Heidi is a robot fueled on silicone, Juvaderm, and Pinkberry. The one thing these Bozos did do right was find each other, since I can’t imagine anyone with a soul wanting to be anywhere in their vicinity, breathing in their toxic, asswipe air.
Let’s collectively stop giving a damn whether they are married, if Spencer can successfully grow facial hair this week, whether Heidi is channeling Mother Teresa, or if they are on or off the I’m a Celebrity, Get me Out of Here reservation. I, for one, am voting the Pratts off my television and sending them back to hell, where they belong.
And yes, I want to punch myself in the face for being so worked up over them.