Thursday, May 14, 2009

Nicolas Cage’s hairline


Is Nic Cage honoring the eroding coastline of California? Did he melt a record and fit it over his melon? Are times so tough that this national treasure can’t afford a full head of plugs?

Add to ConHair’s freaky coif an increasingly gaunt face and you’ve got Skelator in a skullcap. I’m absolutely goonstruck looking at Hair-raising Arizona. No one’s forehead should end at the crown. Normally mild at heart, I have no choice but to take this hair yarmulke into my own hands. I’m going to face-off against Mr. Moppola and my weapon of choice is a straight razor. I’m shaving that shit old-school and landscaping the back of his head. It’ll be gone in 60 seconds.

(Note: This Letterman interview is a snooze but you can get an eyeful of Peggy Sue Got Hairried.)

5 comments:

Chris said...

can't see what i'm typing my eyes are all moisty with giggles

Anonymous said...

Well, toss in the whittled-down schnozz, cheek implants and the ill-fitting veneers, and he doesn't look anything like he did in "Valley Girl" which was the only time he was even passably cute.

tammy smith said...

ohmygod-the puns run amuck!!! you're fantastic. I just found this blog via Georgia Peachez and now you're gonna be on my blog list for sure-thanks for the laugh!

mermayd said...

what was up with the wierd voice in peggy sue??? method actors, i'll tell ya...

Red said...

I used to <3 Mr Cage as well...
So sad now.
I don't think i can watch his movies anymore, i will be too busy waiting for his hair to just fall off the back of his head.