Friday, July 24, 2009

The Geico caveman



Apparently, the Geico caveman is working up toward a full-on docudrama. It started innocently enough: I liked the commercial in the airport. No dialogue, just Röyksopp and a moving walkway.

Then he moved into the therapist’s office. There wasn’t much room on the couch, since he was sharing it with a massive chip on his shoulder. The discomfort was palpable.

Now we’ve entered full-on Ben Stiller territory. In Fright at the Museum, Brow Ridge is a docent at the Museum of Natural History, leading a group of Greek system rejects who start circling him like they’re re-enacting a scene from “The Lottery” (that short story by Shirley Jackson we all had to read in high school). If those stones in the diorama weren’t papier mâché, I’d be worried for the dude’s survival. Sure, Clan of the Cave Bear bags the babe in the end but, like a Ben Stiller movie, the payoff never equals the shit he had to eat during the previous 89 minutes.

Cro-Gagnon gets to show his acting chops in this 3-minute commercial…well, as much as he can show under all that fur. He is a long-suffering martyr. He tries on bemusement. Here we go: he’s officially annoyed! He transitions into supercilious before finally settling on bitter. Are these the five stage of caveman grief? And why do I need bear witness?

If I wanted to see bitter, I’d look in the mirror…or re-read these blog posts. It’s time to throw him into a crate and ship him back to Olduvai Gorge. Maybe the missing link should stay lost.

(And does anyone else think that the caveman bears some resemblance to Val Kilmer?)

8 comments:

SwinginMartinisDesigns said...

What about the TV show the got! only a piolet and nothing more, but that's more airtime than they deserve!

Toni said...

I haven't seen the museum commercial but I DESPISE the cavemen! My God, they are the most annoying commercials on TV. UGH! Enough already!

Cameron said...

Any Geico commercial should be outlawed. You could equally pick on the Gecko, the money with googly eyes, or any toher marketing ploy that is mildly humorous at first, and is still used years after it has been bled completely dry. Give me President Palmer assuring me I am in good hands, not the brain bastard child of marketing dorks hoped up on Jolt cola.

Cameron said...

"Toher" by the way is a character on the TV show the got! only a piolet and nothing more, in case you were wondering.

Michaela said...

Oh how I love that you have a link to The Lottery.
So bizarro, even a caveman can relate.

The Orchard said...

Totally Val Kilmer!

marybt said...

I'd like to do worse to them than punch them in the face.

Just Lurking said...

Too funny! I thought I was the only one who saw Val Kilmer.