Bush’s Baked Beans commercials

As someone who prides herself on making kick-ass baked beans (using drained Bush’s beans as a starter ingredient), these commercials chap my cookout hide. I have two issues.

1. Duke seems to think this is a recipe worth stealing. Whether it’s homestyle or country style, these beans are just filler food. Add a pound of brown sugar, slow cook them for a few hours, and then, we can talk.
   
   
2. Duke can’t seem to steal the secret family recipe from apparent Mensa member Jay Bush. The dog can talk, for fuck's sake, but he can't get his paws on the recipe. Even masquerading as the furry ghost of Grandma Bush, the Golden Retreiver can’t seem to pull one over on Jay, even when the dude is distracted by his precious fart pot of beans. The pooch can build a secret lair, complete with a security system, but he can't figure out the ingredients in the can? They are listed on the label! Come on, Duke, stop farting around and put your breeding to good use. Spill the beans—literally. Sweep the leg and knock that pot off the stove and onto Jay. While he’s busy eating himself out of his protein puddle, raid the recipe box, grab your chew toy, and hightail it out of town. Head toward Boston where you can make some mad money pawning off the recipe card to some unwitting chowderhead.
   

(This idea came to me as a late-night text from my pal Jessica, who wrote "Dodo could steal that recipe. Andale." Word.)