I know it’s not nice to pick on teenagers but when they straddle the pole, all bets are off. So here it is: Miley Cyrus has some big-ass cheeks, and I’m not talking about her ass cheeks.
Even accounting for baby fat, you've gotta admit that Hannah Mouthana has a freaky pair of pancakes on her pretty puss.
Sorry, Smiley, but the party isn’t in the U.S.A.: it’s in your mouth. In fact, I think a DJ is spinning in your left cheek right now. And sweetcheeks, with your bank account, there’s really no need to be storing nuts for winter.
I'm not going to punch you in the face, since I don't believe in hurting baby animals, but I'm trusting that the cheekiness subsides in a few years. If not, I know of a few Real Housewives who'd be happy to take your baby face off your hands to plump up their own.