Whenever I have unhappily stumbled into an office or coffee shop at 7am, I see a flock of smug early birds silently congratulating each other for being such productive, rarified members of society. These chipper toolboxes are one step away from developing a secret handshake. This sort of self-satisfaction would be irksome enough, but add to that their silent disdain for anyone who sets their alarm for sometime after sunrise and they really make me want to flip my shit.
Dude, so you get to your desk at the ass-crack of dawn. You are the first one to turn off the security alarm. You regularly meet with your trainer at 5:30am. You have special alone time with the boss. Whoopadeedoo! The only thing this means is that you go to bed at 9pm. You climb under the covers before the sun goes down, which is not something to pat yourself on the back about, unless you’re a farmer.
Don't give me stinkeye when I roll in. Don’t even hint that I don’t work hard for the money. I usually toil away until I turn off the lights long after midnight, so eat my alarm clock. We have different schedules, different rhythms that suit us. It doesn’t mean that your day is any longer or more fruitful than mine. It just means that you’re a judgmental fuck who drinks decaf after 2pm.
The best part of waking up is piping hot Folgers in your face.