Thursday, September 17, 2009

Toilet seat sprinkles

This one is mostly for the ladies, I’m guessing. Without fail, if I’m traveling, running around town, or moving through my day where a public restroom crosses my path, I see drops on the pot. Why, why, why? Do you have a sprinkler head screwed to your urethra? Are you marking your territory in this shithole? Are you blind or just a pissant?

This wet peeve sends me over the edge. As I’m wiping down your golden shower and building a paper barrier between me and your pee spree, I imagine all sorts of retripootion, ranging from forcing you to hose down a Honey Bucket to punching your bladder in the face to an old-school swirlie. Wet blanket I may be, but damn if my seat ain’t neat.

5 comments:

SkitzoLeezra said...

Gee-f'in-ross!
However, some of those self-flush toilets produce such a force of water when filling the bowl that droplets mist onto the seat so it is possible that you are seeing water and not the alternative.

Artistic Accents by Darla said...

And walmart bathrooms are the worst! No hooks on the doors, toilets unflushed and piss not only on the seats but on the floor as well. NOT to mention other 'products' tossed on the floor. Pigs!
Absolutely no employee schedule for keeping them in order!
I'd rather use a port-a-potty sometimes!
Good post.

lexismonkie said...

I hate that more than anything EVER.

Preach on sister.

Chris said...

What the HELL happens in those stalls?! It's Horrifying and Stoopid! What do people think is going to happen to them if they actually sit DOWN on the seat?! And if they're such pussies about pussy, then why leave theirs around for other people to sit on? I hate them. I hate them with the heat of a thousand suns.

Love,
Me

Andie said...

Do you know what's even worse? In our malls we find FOOTPRINTS on the seat, as well as a hefty amount of golden spray. Yuck!