“Be grateful you still have a job (even if you are shouldering the work of four people.)”“At least you have health insurance (albeit a crappy plan with a ginormous deductible.)”
“Hey, you have a roof over your head (even if you aren’t sure how to pay your rent next month.)”
“So many others are in a much worse position than you (so shut your gripe gob.)”
I’m not a hater, really I’m not. I am thankful for all sorts of things large and small. These days, however, there seems to be a general attitude that we should be happy with our state in life because others have it much, much worse. Granted, I may not be getting royally cornholed, but I’m often still getting fucked. I’m supposed to journal about how blessed I am?
Screw gratitude.
First of all, I don’t want others to be worse off than me. I like to feel superior in loads of ways, don't get me wrong, but not when it comes to reliable indoor plumbing. And I don’t want to rationalize away my sorry state of affairs by giving thanks that I have just enough banked to see me through one round of bills. When someone counts off my blessings and tells me that I should be grateful, I want to tell the goddamned Oprah acolyte that stewing in silently suffering martyr juice ain’t my style.
Write that in your gratitude journal, you sanctimonious asshat. I’d be forever grateful.
What’s the most annoying comment you’ve received lately about gratitude and/or your attitude?
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13 comments:
Most irritating comment I've received was... ALL OF THE ONES YOU MENTIONED AND THEN SOME.
When I was unemployed it was, "At least you have unemployment checks." Which by the way didn't enable me to pay bills, or rent, or eat.
When after 6 months all I found was a PART TIME job it was, "It's better than unemployment!" Indeed, because now I make $200 more than when I was sitting on my ass all day. SWEET.
The list goes on and on...
Amazing how things are so bad we've taken to creating false positives to keep ourselves from crawling in a hole and forgetting.
Um, ditto is about all I have to say to everything you and the other commenter said. WTF is wrong with people that they have to rain on my pity party just cuz they are making 8 times my annual salary? I mean seriously, it's more like other people gloating than us feeling sorry for ourselves.
See? I'm so neurotic that I *want* to tell you that the most annoying one is the standard fallback "At least you have your health,"...but that would make me worry something would happen to change that, and things are precarious enough when you have two children to support, no health insurance, and a hubby who's been laid off since January. Not that I'm complaining or anything!
Instead I will just say some people make me grateful I don't have more relatives.
p.s. loved 'martyr juice' :D
This makes me think of my Irish Grandmother (who had made an art of opposing the doom of ANYTHING) She would remind us (the ingrates) that "I used to feel badly that I had no shoes until I met a man that had no feet." We would just stare at her and wonder what hellish celtic scenario conjured up that psyche?
Hellish Celtic scenario: hahahahaha!
Yeah, I used to complain that I had no hat, until I met a man who had no head. Gee, maybe I'll get that cross-stitched on something.
Most annoying comment? Someone recently said how happy I seemed considering I had been in a car accident ON TOP of this economic crisis and lost almost everything (still have the somewhat reliable indoor plumbing)..the kicker was this particular evening at the shelter, I was cutting the heads off of paper dolls while gnashing my teeth and whispering curses at all the people and institutions I wish to have revenge upon.
Static: I'm sure you were just full of whimsy and delight as you were decapitating the paper dolls. What is wrong with people? I guess you just add that person to the revenge list.
Maybe you'll feel a bit more grateful when you consider 25,000 humans die of starvation each day. Not a good way to go, I'm advised.
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_many_people_die_of_starvation_each_day
Oh, definitely the health insurance thing. THAT gripes me beyond anything. I was talking to someone about how people are FUCKED in this country, and she said, well, have you had any problems with your insurance?
THIS ISN'T ABOUT ME! The only reason people keep saying this shit about having gratitude is because it keeps us from actually DOING ANYTHING about the shithole state of affairs in this backward country of ours! We need to give thanks, because then we won't have to give any time or effort!
I tell you right now, if I lost my job or I had a real problem with my excellent body, it would take exactly one month for me to be destitute. I'll tell you how grateful the CEO of microsoft is: NOT. GIVE ME MORE, is what he's sayin! And this insistence on thankfulness is just an opiate to keep us marginalized and stoopid.
Sure, I'm fine with it. I'm just sayin'.
'Arn't you lucky to be retired!'
NO NO NO - it means I'm old!!!!
Yes, I KNOW it's better than the alternative (death).
"Be grateful that you can can always try again." - overheard said to TWO different friends who had experienced miscarriages
"Isn't it wonderful that there are so many different antibiotics these days? What if you were a pioneer?" - said to me as I battled MRSA of the fucking throat
Real gratitude has little to do with being thankful for the things you are told you "should" be grateful for, like the roof over your head or the food on your plate, kind of stuff. It is actually a very powerful tool which you can use at any time to help you live in the moment, heal the past or create an incredible future...once you know HOW to use it.
When "attempting' to be grateful, think of the benefits each person, place, thing or situation has/is or will provide you so. In other words, use an "what's in it for me" attitude to see what you get out of your association with it/them.
Maybe the roof over your head will keep you warm and safe long enough, until you find a better paying job. Maybe you can use the the fact that you cant pay rent to motivate you to set a goal to make more money, so that you don't have to live like hand to mouth anymore.
If you can't come up with any benefits it may be that your negativity is blocking you from seeing them. Your thoughts and feelings are your choice. You can wallow in self-pity or you can do something about your unhappiness. I can tell you from my own personal experience, when my husband went bankrupt 3 years ago, it wasn't the anger I felt that made me feel whole again, but gratitude for the fact that I am responsible for my own life, my own success and ultimately my own happiness. Action equals results!
I am the author of the soon-to-be published book, titled, Gratitude and Goals. I have also just created my first blog in which I do in fact state what I am grateful for. I also write what I am grateful for, along with set my goals, in my Gratitude and Goals daily journal.
Live long and prosper, as they say...but do it with peace of mind and the satisfaction that you achieved all of your wildest dreams!
Stacey Grewal
http://staceygrewal.wordpress.com/
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