Monday, August 10, 2009
Your jingles may be annoyingly catchy, but the dude singing them is just plain annoying. If I have to see your shaggy mop kicking it at a Ren Faire or entertaining the early birds at a seafood restaurant one more time, I’m going to drive my fist so far into your face that you’re going to be pushed back a hundred or so points on your crap-ass credit report.
And here’s a thought: maybe you’re living in your in-laws’ basement, not because your dream girl had bad credit, but because your emo band can’t get a gig. Put down your guitar, lose the white man’s overbite, and stop being a whiny cautionary tale. Martyrdom never made anyone serious coin.