Monday, February 23, 2009


Every time I hear someone say "namaste," I want to beat them and their sustainable clothing with a rain stick. I mean, fine, say it at the end of yoga class…if you absolutely have to. But when I hear it outside of the ashram, it harshes my mellow. The likely culprits are people who get their kids hopped up on carob chips and let them run around Trader Joe's because they are "spirited."

Namaste means "The light in me honors the light in you." When I'm in shavasana (during my occasional foray into yoga) and I hear this, I throw up a little in my mouth. Laying on my back, well, you can imagine that this isn't a good thing. The light in me wants to knock your lights out or, better yet, reach in and rip out your heart chakra. Saying "namaste" doesn't make you enlightened, it just makes you a tool in an organic bamboo hoodie.



Anonymous said...

I always hear it with a little passive aggressive judgmental edge, a kind of "peace to you who is obviously consuming oil and has hatred in your soul." Sort of like I often hear "I'll pray for you" as "Only god can help you now."

I love this blog.

Juli said...

Yeah, I think we should be conserving some energy here folks. Let's dim those lights a little, shall we?? I don't need any honor right now... howza bouts a box of Thin Mints instead?

Anonymous said...

Wouldn't it be funny to kick the hell out of someone and as you administer the final blow, you shoot your cuffs and calmly say "Namaste?"

I think it's acceptable then.

Shetu said...

Yes! The people who say it think they're all cultured and shit but no one who actually speaks Hindi ever says it, unless they're in a temple or speaking to someone who's a lot older than them. It sounds ridiculous.

Anonymous said...

Love it -- "spirited" children in funky Trader Joe's.

Anonymous said...

Kind of like the way flight attendants bark, "Mahalo" at you from the galley of Aloha Airlines.

It helps if you just remember that 'Mahalo' actually means 'asshole'. I'm fronting the suggestion that 'namaste' is code for the same thing.

Anonymous said...

Stephanie Westcott.... freak'n hilarious

Anonymous said...

Less killing means more namaste.

If your meditation uses the ocean to clear and calm your mind but you skip the dead zones are you cheating?
Certainly you can do whatever you want, especially if it makes you feel good, but herein lies the problem.
Are we too psychopathic to save ourselves, even when we're trying?

Yes Stephanie. People have been using God to curse their enemies since the witchburnings, and before.

Midnight Rook said...

Just an observation, because I simply cannot see from your perception, but you will find whatever you are looking for. You seem to look for things to punch in the face, someone can say this, rather they know the meaning of it or not, and you can take it as someone wishing you well, or choose to let it destroy you. If you want to wage a war with the negative reaction in spite of the fact that someone may be wishing you well, that too is your choice. Suicidal hatred can be reserved for even the smallest things if you wish. It is, after all your path to go with...just know you have a choice...if you want to react to stimuli like a pinball and be bounced around in annoyed emotions that is is a first world problem that you have the luxury to indulge in. I was disturbed when most retail stores prevented their employees from saying merry Christmas or happy Hanuka because it might offend someone. Really? I don't care, if I am not Jewish and someone Jewish or otherwise said happy Hanuka I would wish it right back on them. The omission of your beliefs has nothing to do with trying to offend you, but you can be offended if you like. The simple fact of the matter is, some one is "Wishing you well" and you are simply getting upset by the semantics and getting lost in a nose in the air, snobbery that you feel justified in. But, as I said, I encourage you to continue down that path, a fool who persists in their folly will find wisdom.