It’s Girl Scout Cookie** season. In other words, I’ve entered the seventh circle of hell. Cheery Girl Scouts camp outside my grocery store, making me feel like a jackass if I don’t buy several boxes of cookies or a fat ass if I do.
I like the concept of GSC. They aren’t that expensive, I’m helping a good cause (that punk girl with the cute freckles and the stage mother, for instance), and it’s tradition. But like many traditions, Girl Scout Cookies perennially disappoint. It may be heresy, but the cookies pretty much suck.
Has anyone else noticed this?
I can deal with the Trefoils (a benign shortbread), but when it comes to Samoas, I just get pissed. Giddy with anticipation, I bite into the classic cookie. With a combination of chocolate, coconut, and caramel, what’s not to like? I can’t put my finger on it exactly but they always, without fail, let me down in a way that a Deluxe Graham or an Oreo or a Chips Ahoy never has. They taste a bit like paraffin.
Maybe if I pulverize these crap-ass cookies, I can transform them into a tasty piecrust. Samoa cheesecake, anyone?
* My friend Kerry says that the only way to go with the Samoa is to pop them in the freezer before popping in your piehole. I might give them another chance because I like second chances (especially when it involves food). That's just how I roll.
** Girl Scout cookies irk Sandra's shit, too. I have to give her a shout-out for this idea. Between her e-mail and Nora having a girl in a green vest knock on her door over the weekend to sell her cookie crack, I had to weigh in on the subject.