Thursday, February 5, 2009
Maybe it's just me, but I've been out with more than one guy who tucks his gum away behind a tooth or some other mysterious place when he goes to make out with me. Do these chumps have a hinged filling to store the Juicy Fruit? Where does it go? Does it even matter? Are you that destitute that you can't pull out a new stick post-mackdown? The only oral fixation you should have at that moment is with my mouth. Lose the gum, jackwipe.*
You know what? On second thought, I don’t want to kiss you. I want to hit you. Really hard. In the kisser.
*If you're a chick, the same goes for you.