Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Holiday-themed clothing

We get it, Star-Spangled Dumbass, it’s the Fourth of July. With the pop-up fireworks stands, numerous picnic invitations, and my calendar, I had an inkling.

While I think a jaunty scarf or baseball cap in our nation’s colors can set off an outfit and proclaim your Independence beautifully, I take issue with clothing purchased solely for a holiday. Whether it’s an emerald-green outfit befitting a leprechaun, a Quacker Factory sweater adorned with jack-o-lanterns or Christmas trees, or a Valentine’s Day heart attack, seasonal clothing is as gauche as wearing a white gown to someone else's wedding.

And, American Idiot, tricking yourself out head to toe in red, white, and blue $5 Old Navy or Target clothing that was made by one-armed Asian toddlers isn’t the way to convey your national pride.

That’s what illegal fireworks are for, Thomas Feel-Some-Paine. That’s just common sense



downfromtheledge said...

Star-spangled dumbass. I like it lol.

Anonymous said...

did you really just say one- armed asian toddlers?

L.J. Diva said...

I LOVE this stuff! I think it's fantastic and wear christmas stuff from the 1st to the 25th of December every year!

wisteriasky233 said...

Every year just about my mom is sucked into the Walmart "Faded Glory" shirts after the 4th. I just don't feel the need to go all nutty for the 4th, or any holiday to be honest.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe the way some people dress on the 4th. But then it's not just holidays that bring out the fashion offenders. (If only that were so...)

-- Jim Lowry