Friday, July 27, 2012

Truck nuts

An image is worth a thousand words. A thousand cuss words, that is. The only consolation about staring at these ballsacs while stuck in traffic is getting to see the sac of shit driving the monster truck when you finally pass him and leave his bumper nuts in the dust.

Dude is seriously compensating. Like John Bobbit compensating.

Maybe I’m picking on low-hanging fruit here but I believe the person who hangs testicles from his trailer hitch is a massive tool with a tiny dick. That’s the only reason I can imagine showcasing such nutty behavior.

I’m confident in saying that the testes are the most precious of boy parts, the Achilles Heel of the groin region. A well-placed soccer ball or knee can fell a man and turn him temporarily into a helium-sucking castrato. So why in the name of Cisco Adler’s balls would you leave these swaying in the wind? You're just inviting any civilized person to rear end yo’ ass and crack those nuts. Kick these plastic nads to the curb before you get punched in your actual hairy cherries.



Kimberly said...

I TOTALLY agree with you. I find this to be one of the ickiest things that I have seen in a long time.

downfromtheledge said...

Personally, I'm just waiting for Trunk Twats. Bumper Beavers. Muffler Muffs. Hitch-y Coochies. Scooter Cooters.

Would this be over-compensation for having a small vagina or a huge vagina? I'm not sure.

Call me, let's do this.

Deeba said...

SO right on, and hilarious! I hate these stupid things! And try explaining them to your children. Seriously.

Anonymous said...

Agreed. Only a tiny dicked doucher would need to have a giant plastic sagging ball sac tied to the ass end of their overly noisy, ginormous douche lord of a gas guzzler.

Anonymous said...

Dude ... you know I wanna tell Anonymous to suck THIS.