Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Grocery bag guilt

I’m a bad citizen of the earth. I admit it. When I walk out the door, I don’t always know that I’m going to wind up at the grocery store and consequently, I don't have any sort of bag, basket, bowl, or tray with which to carry my groceries home. So sue me (or charge me that annoying 5 cents per bag that you're itching to).

Many days, I hunker down writing at a coffee shop that’s a block from the QFC, so I should probably wise up and just stick a market bag in my laptop case.

But I don’t.

So I’m left feeling like a total hosebag when I skulk—bagless—toward the cashier to ring up my snacklets. I start rationalizing and apologizing to the employee, who really could care less if I need to take home one or eleven plastic bags.

My carbon footprint is pretty damn small even if my hooves are a healthy 9 1/2. I use public transportation, my pad is tiny, I turn out the lights, I recycle. (But draw the line at organic deodorants. Call me crazy, but I like to slather on chemicals to mask my natural funk.)

I use plastic bags as trash can liners (now that Mac Daddy is no longer with me, I unfortunately can’t use “kitty litter bags” as an excuse for my bag consumption) and paper bags for recycling but yet my guilt persists, which seriously pisses me off. Living in Seattle doesn't help: There are a lot of green assholes—grassholes—ready to pass judgment on me and my bag stash. I've seen the stink eye in the checkout line, believe me.

I have taken steps toward assuaging my guilt. Over the past year or so, I've accumulated quite a few market bags. I bought one I thought was cute at Eat Local, I was given a couple, and I even made an adorable bag as a craft project for a book. But do I remember to take them with me?


So I'm left with a wad of plastic bags and a serious resentment toward my inner grasshole. Something must be done, and I think you know what I'm talking about: dropkicking my grocery bag guilt to the curb…in a recycling bin, of course.


Event Girl said...

clearly you're going to hell - grasshole.

Nora said...

You and your fancy made up words.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a hippiecrite to me. ;)

Anonymous said...

Anonymous is me, Winnie, ie Kate. Still working out the twitter ways.

Darcey Howard said...

Do you find it ironic that Safeway has a google ad on your blog? this one in particular. Sick basterds. Its a daily pang of guilt for me. I counted them, I have a ridiculous number, six, of those cute and not-so-cute clothe bags. But i ask you (the preverbial 'you') what am i supposed to line my kitchen garbage can with? do i buy a roll of liners? that's stupid? i want some crunchy granola nut to answer that for me!

Outsmart the Fat! said...

I'm with you on the chemical deodorant. I tried the natural shit, and all I got was a pit rash. Screw that noise!

Anonymous said...

Stumbled upon your blog today, and had to stop myself from laughing at loud at work. (Tragic, I know.) I always leave my "earth bags" in the trunk of my car... and STILL forget to bring them IN the damn store every time. Good luck with those grassholes!