Thursday, June 3, 2010

Heather's punch list

  1. People who say "disorientated" or "vunerable."
  2. People who cut off or tailgate people driving with trailers. Do you not realize that I am twice your size and will crush you because I can't stop that fast? And don't get me started about banging up my horses in the trailer because I have to make like the Starship Enterprise and perform evasive maneuvers to avoid your stupid ass! Hurt my horses and you'll wish all I did was punch you in the face! And no, just because I have this big-ass trailer, I will not help you move!
  3. People who always have to 'one-up' you in conversation.
  4. Bright yellow vehicles of any kind—especially trucks or Hummers. Do you really need to be that ostentatious? Or do you just lose your car in the parking lot all the time and thought it might help?
  5. People who leave drawers and cupboard doors just barely open. Does it really take that much more effort to close it the rest of the way?
  6. People who tailgate and tag on to the car in front of them as the light is turning red so they don't have to sit through another light cycle. This is especially bad with unprotected left turn lanes. Seriously?! You weren't even anywhere CLOSE to being in the intersection already! There's no way you fooled anyone here. Where's the cop when you need him?
  7. Parents who don't discipline their kids or follow through with any discipline they do hand out. This is especially bad in any retail setting. "I'm gonna count to three. I mean it. I'm really going to count this time! Do you want me to start counting? Is that what you want?" Oh, please count! For God's sake, PLEASE COUNT! I'm dying to see what happens when you count!
  8. Reality TV. Enough said.
  9. People who leave long-ass boring messages on your voicemail. Do you really think I have the time to listen to four minutes of you repeating or explaining or just talking to yourself? You're lucky if I didn't delete it after 10 seconds.
  10. People who insist on doing things the hard way. I am efficient at a lot of things. If I offer an idea on how to do something easier and faster, its probably going to be a good one. Just try it out instead of wasting everyone's time doing something we could have already had done three hours ago!

And one more:

People who move every piece of crap they own and THEN do a Goodwill donation! SERIOUSLY? Go through your crap BEFORE you make all your friends and family help you move it, and THEN move! I will gladly take everything you don't want to the trash or donation if it means we don't have to pack it up and move it all the way across three counties to your new place and then take it to toss or give away! (Am I the only one I know who ever thinks of this)



Shinny said...

I am married to a #10. don't ask my opinion then if you are still going to do the project half-assed and take 2 months to do it! Why yes we are working on a new patio and No I don't want the 2 1/2 year old to be playing in mud all summer because you can't figure out "THE PLAN". ;) Love the blog keep it up.

Fanboy Wife said...

Shanna, my husband is guilty of #9. He will leave me a 10 minute voicemail just to tell me he forgot why he called!

Glenn Freel said...

The voicemail thing irritates me as well. With all the ways there are to get me a message immediately thru social networking sites, SMS / MMS / email, etc., I've been toying with the idea of getting rid of vm altogether.

Oh, and I love you for using the word "ostentatious".

Anonymous said...

Thanks Glenn! I totally love that word too!!


Sheena Kalso - The Invisible Hostess said...

#7 #7 #7!!!