Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Impatient bus drivers

Don't pretend you don't see me running up to the door. And in case you are visually impaired (always a bonus in a person responsible for the safety of the masses), you’ve got to hear me pounding on the side of the bus and yelling at you to freakin’ stop.

What did I ever do to you?

Someone once told me, “Never run for a bus.” Maybe I read it in a fortune cookie. Regardless, wise words these. When I disregarded this advice and wiped out on the pavement in front of a busload of people as I was sprinting to the bus stop, I prayed that the driver would, as usual, just keep on truckin’. Oh no. This mutant driver actually stopped, opened the door, and asked if I was okay. Yeah, except that my road rage has now been joined by road rash, and I look like a walking HAZMAT area.

The upshot of all this is that at least I know the secret to getting you to step on the brakes when you see me coming. But even maiming myself for a bus ride is a crapshoot. I can’t really punch you in the face since you keep driving away but you’d better watch your rear-view mirrors. I might just decide to run for a bus. Your bus.



Anonymous said...

I wanna punch folks who show up late for a bus and then expect it to wait for you.

Just kidding.

I once had a bus driver close the door on my arm and start dragging me along with the bus.

It was the rear door. But still.

(Yes, you were allowed to board through the rear. (Heh, heh, heh. "board through the rear." (Yes, I'm immature. (No, this isn't Lisp.))))

Greg McMahan said...

Bob Newhart did a great comedy routine about a bus drivers school. Worth searching for.

L.J. Diva said...

If bus drivers are so blind what the fuck are they doing driving a bus.

Of course they see you, they just don't want to stop again.

And running can cause accidents!

Jeff said...

tommy1414213, I like your "board through the rear" comment, and your Lisp comment.

To be fair, if the bus driver stopped the bus every time they saw someone running in their general direction, many riders would be frustrated. They HAVE TO draw the line somewhere.

Vladivosta said...

Or maybe these bus drivers were wearing ponytails - and just happened to read your superficial post, LOL.