Thursday, February 4, 2010

Ed Hardy clothing

Doode, I already know you’re sporting tats on your arms…and abs…and shoulders (not to mention a spray tan) under that tattooed tee. You don’t need to add another layer of ink blots.

Jon Gosselin used to be the company’s poster douche but his position is being seriously threatened by The Situation and Jersey Shore’s other resident goombahs. When they pull on a studded Christian Audigier abomination to go out creeping, it flat-out creeps me out. It’s as if a dye pack of lameness exploded all over them as they left the surf shop.

Attention, oily bohunks! Wearing Ed Hardy doesn’t wipe out a paste-eating past. Pulling on a tattooed trucker cap is a low-forehead’s sad attempt to be cool. It’s more “tattoo ewwww!” than Tattoo You.

On the bright side, there’s an upshot to all this crap; the garments act as makeshift cotton billboards announcing a tool has just entered the workshop. And they provide lots of targets for my fists.

(photo: herestheproblem.wordpress.com)

12 comments:

Tommy said...

I take a certain solace in not having a fucking clue what you're talking about.

Cameron said...

Hate to be restricted to that one guy that only passes along links, but this is both funny and instructional to our friends like Tommy here.

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/cd14a180a2/ed-hardy-boyz

Yet Another Steve said...

Doesn't the photo explain it all?

Darcey Howard said...

aaah, I could go on and on about this topic but i'll just leave it at 'douche bag'. that's the first thing that goes through my head when i see that signature. And let us not forget that there are female DB's.
I knew i could count on you.

Jennifer Worick said...

Darcey, I thought about adding the skanks in but it would have been long, like epic poem long, like Crystal Gayle hair long.

Kim said...

Ugh, can we also punch Crystal Gayle-length hair in the face? If you're at a ren faire, fine- but really, southern ladies? Really? Thankfully, there isn't an easily accessible Ed Hardy outlet down here- I respect the four-wheelin', chaw-chewin' trucker hat wearers of the dirty south. They are, at least, authentically honkey :)

Fanboy Wife said...

I'm relieved that I haven't seen this "style" of clothing much in my area.

Sue (Vintage Rescue) said...

Thank you! These DBs are walking billboards announcing "I'm a delusionally self-important troll." As soon as I saw your headline, I immediately thought of Jersey Shore and the trolls I play pool against.

Jewels Diva said...

Jon Gosslin's a knob, but I love some Ed Hardy pics and have the blue peacock bag!

Analog Boy said...

OMG! You took my blog post! Darn you!

xoxo

Analog Boy

Unknown said...

ed hardy clothing are basically a method of showing your edgy side and catching the eyes of all those you encounter.

Michelle said...

We all know that people’s loves wearing Ed Hardy clothing and this was an eye catching with the prints of these clothes. Thank you for sharing and keep on posting.