Sunday, December 11, 2011

Inexplicable bruises

I’m clumsy. That’s no surprise to anyone who knows about my inner ear imbalance. But riddle me Alzheimer’s: when exactly did I drive the back of my calf into a wall, causing it to look like a bruised pear? Did I fall on the inside of my forearm in the last 48 hours? And why exactly is my index finger puffed up?

I like things rough as much as the next gal, but it seems to me that I actually have to make contact with someone or something in order to sport a little friendly bruising. When a mysterious mark on my right earlobe appears, I think it’s time to install some motion-censor cameras because the only logical answer is paranormal activity.



Yeltzman said...

I'd suggest it may be "active dreaming" where you perform actions in your sleep ........... or rohypnol.

Kimbopolo said...

I have the same thing. It's only a matter of time before I can't be left alone in the house.

Anonymous said...

Totally with ya there. I bang, cut or bash myself, yell something obscene, forget all about it and an hour later look at the bruise and/or the blood and think "WTF...?!!" Thank heaven we heal quickly.

Jenny K. Lyon said...

Vitamin c helps a lot with bruising.

CarlaCarlaCarlaCarla said...

Good news! Wikipedia · Bruise suggests they're aren't necessarily a sign of injury. Possibilities...

· platelet or coagulation disorders
· leukemia
· meningoccocal infection
· internal bleeding
· certain types of cancer

See Jen, your house isn't haunted after all :-)

Shinny said...

I wake up with mystery bruises too. I was told by a doctor, years ago, that it is a virus in my system since it happens on a cyclical basis and not all the dang time. Basically I was told to just suck it up. Good luck.

SkitzoLeezra said...

You are probably being raped by a poltergeist.

Which is better than leukemia or certain types of cancer.