- Drum solos (particularly while trying to talk post-Punch Party over dinner. The irony that a jazz combo followed the Punch Party is not lost on me)
- The marketing campaign for the Hollywood Bowl: There’s a story in every seat. Um, that’s probably not all that’s in that seat.
- The hope industry: that weekend screenwriting seminar by that dude with zero credits on IMDB is probably not going to net you a development deal.
- Microsoft Tech Support
- The trendiness of “toxins”
- The treacly names of political memoirs
- The amateur peleton. You don’t need to draft behind each other to bike to the office
- Cyclists who wear their ridiculous jerseys and neon spandex shorts everywhere and clack into Peet’s with their clip-ins like those raptors in Jurassic Park
- People who bring all the ingredients to a potluck and start making their dish from scratch
- People who ask you to bring the main dish to the potluck because you’re such a good cook (when they only bring leftover brownies)
- Food restrictions. Gluten-free, sugar-free, dairy-free = taste-free
- Unsalted nuts. Fuck that shit
The list goes on and on, but sadly, my memory doesn’t. Thanks everyone for coming out and sharing your wit and wisdom!