Precious Moments

These china clowns, cherubs, and rascals skipped through the nightmares of my youth and I’m still holding a grudge (when I’m not huddled in the fetal position). They traveled in big-eyed packs, alongside Love’s Baby Soft, window crystals, and rainbow stickers. They may have been pastel, but they were far from soothing.

Precious Moments really exploded when I was knee-sock-deep into Catholic school, so it was no surprise that I was initially drawn to their cheeky innocence. I had one particularly adorbs lamb that I lifted from a nativity scene. I wanted to hug it and kiss it and call it my own. After about five minutes, however, I moved onto Shaun Cassidy and put my porcelain pet out to pasture.

But that was not enough to corral the horror. Tears of a clown would rain down my face at the thought of the baby mimes and toddler princesses littering the Hallmark store at the Fairplain Plaza. What really gets my goat now is the thought of all these evil Enesco eyesores sitting on shelves and in cabinets around the world. I’ll finally give them an actual reason for those sad eyes: my hammer coming toward their shiny, happy faces.

(photo: carolscrafts.com)