Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Hair extensions*

I blame Paris Hilton. Thanks to her, a whole generation of skanks and trophy wives with French tips and tennis bracelets have embraced a culture of fake. They’ve embraced hair extensions.

Hair has become an accessory, like a pair of earrings or shoes, that you can just don and doff at will. Hair used to be a gal’s crowning glory; now it’s just a stringy hat.

It used to be that people would hide the artificial, be it boobs, a tan, or hair. Bragging rights came from things being real. While Crystal Gayle’s hair could have been used to garrotte her, do you think she’d be caught dead with extensions? Her long hair was noteworthy because it was real.

Now Britney is shaving her head during a psychotic break and then getting terrible extensions knotted to her stubble. She isn’t fooling anyone and she doesn’t give a rat’s ass, which, come to think of it, is sort of what her hair looks like. Danielle Staub got beaded extensions for the current season of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. When Ashley pulled her hair at a country club, the defense was “I pulled her extensions so technically I didn’t touch her.” Fair enough. If you put in locks long enough to be a lever, be prepared for someone to pull it.

Back away from the Jessica Simpson clip-in hairdon’t and work with what you’ve got. Short hair? Now, that’s hot. For reals.

(photo: jenniferlew.blogspot.com)

*This post only applies to white women. I’m totally down with weaves. And I have no beef with wigs.

13 comments:

Titanium said...

Yeahhhhhhh Budddyyyyyy!! It's great to hear a shout-out for the short hair.

MB said...

speaking of extensions/weaves, did you happen to see Good Hair? Fascinating look at where the tendrils actually come from.

http://www.netflix.com/Movie/Good_Hair/70112745?strackid=748f1605cb18a723_0_srl&strkid=1296584008_0_0&lnkctr=srchrd-sr&trkid=222336

MB said...

speaking of extensions/weaves, did you happen to see Good Hair? Fascinating look at where the tendrils actually come from.

http://www.netflix.com/Movie/Good_Hair/70112745?strackid=748f1605cb18a723_0_srl&strkid=1296584008_0_0&lnkctr=srchrd-sr&trkid=222336

bonnie said...

I used to watch Extreme Makeover and was pissed when they would give every participant hair extensions. This is a look that, aside from being stupidly artificial, is expensive for the average woman to keep up. I could never firgure out why they didn't just make the best of the person's own hair and teach them to work with it. I hope there is a backlash against fake and soon!

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Samantha1875 said...

I was once at a comedy club in the 2nd row from the stage. Two young, overdressed couples were in front of us and half way through the show, the blonde's extentions started falling off and onto the floor. My date and I were laughing harder at that then at the comedian. After the show, I couldn't bring myself to tell her - so I told her "friend" who whispered it to her boyfriend who whispered it to the other guy who bent down and picked up his date's fake hair off the floor and deftly stuffed them into his pocket without a word. Brilliant.

ins[anna]ty said...

Funny blog! You and I have very similar annoyances!
http://irreversible-insanity.blogspot.com/

Laurie Marshall said...

on topic but not: when I worked at a local high school in the early 90s a sweet black girl always had a great weave with hot pink and purple threaded through her braids. I mentioned one day that I liked her weave, and she was so impressed that I called it by the right name. I guess most middle-American white chicks she met couldn't figure out what it was... cultural ignorance pisses me off.

Anonymous said...

Women (and men) have been wearing hair pieces and wigs since before the ancient Egyptians, Fashion is not something that was invented after the war, It is something that has been more integral to human culture than names. Robin Hood, par example - More importance is put on his choice of clothing than on what he did. Heck, even dolphins wear sea weed to attract a mate.

Anonymous said...

There is nothing wrong with people wanting to enhance their looks. who cares if its not natural thats them. Not every one has to be natural. And if it looks bad just thing about all the things that other people think looks bad on you. We all have different styles and ways of doing things.

ranzuosky said...

I'm glad that I have full thick hair and don't need extensions.
Sometimes having lots of super thick hair is a pain in the butt,
but I just can't ever imagine paying so much for some hair extensions.

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Hair Extensions UK said...

having a hair extension doesn't make you less of a woman. Instead, it keeps you grounded and feel beautiful inside and out.

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