I didn’t like black licorice when my grandpa offered it to me those many years ago, I don’t fancy ouzo, pastis and absinthe as much as I long to be a sophisticated broad abroad, and I don’t like fennel in my food now or anytime soon.
I don’t want to be an herb hater, I really don’t, so I recently gave it a another go. Like I do every now and again with cole slaw and endive, I thought I’d give it a second chance. I thought that maybe my palate had changed, maybe I’d suddenly develop an affinity for anise flavor. Yeah, no. Chewing on a fennel seed just made me want to wash my mouth out with coriander. Fennel may taste like anise, but it also tastes like ass.
Tom’s of Maine makes a fennel toothpaste, which must really fly off the shelves. Why doesn’t dude and his hippie helpers just make some scat or guano toothpaste while they're at it? Brushing my teeth with the very flavor I’m trying to scrub out of my mouth seems a bit absurd, even to me.
I’m going to take my mortar and pestle to this nasty piece of work and crush it completely before chucking it in the dustbin. Finally, a way to stomach fennel without it leaving a bad taste in my mouth.