Get ready for another round of Punch Parties!

The revised edition of Things I Want to Punch in the Face is hitting stores soon and so too will I, hosting punch parties and readings. Here’s where you can find me (stay tuned, as I'll be adding more dates as they are booked):

September 21, 7pm | Village Books
Bellingham, WA
I'm honored to be part of the rich tradition of author events at this storied Fairhaven bookstore. Bellinghamsters are invited to bring their own punches to share!

September 24, 7–8:30pm | Queen Anne Book Company
Seattle, WA
Join me for what is sure to be an evening of hilarity! Bring your own “punches” to share!

October 5, 7–8pm | Park Road Books
Charlotte, NC
I’m taking the show on the road and I can’t wait to visit Charlotte’s favorite bookstore for a lively evening of PITF readings!

Revised edition now available for preorder!

Ancient grains, mixologists, and yoga pants, oh my! All your current peeves have been rounded up in this revised edition of Things I Want to Punch in the Face. I've updated classic entries, cut dated material, and added a slew of the most annoying people, places and things in the zeitgeist today.

Pre-order up this revised edition today and chuckle as lumbersexuals and their beard oil finally get what's coming to them!

Order from your favorite indie bookstore via Indiebound here.

Create Your Own PITF Haiku Deck & Win a Free Copy of TIWTPITF!

Haiku Deck is the best application for creating presentations on iPad

Things I Want to Punch in the Face and Haiku Deck are like peanut butter and chocolate. In other words, the perfect combination. A new app for iPad, Haiku Deck allows you to create powerful presentations, using royalty-free images and bold graphics (check out the original PITF Haiku Deck here; it's hilar). I love a good contest so in conjunction with Haiku Deck, we are asking you to create your own personal Things I Want to Punch in the Face Haiku Deck for a chance to win a copy of Things I Want to Punch in the Face.

Here's how it works: 

1. Download the Haiku Deck iPad app here.
2. Between now and December 21, think of at least five things you are itching to punch in the face this holiday season. Hate your mother-in-law, your neighbor's outdoor Christmas decorations, crappy regifts? Detail it all through words and images. Using your iPad, type in what you want to punch and then access Haiku Deck's image database to find a good fit for your fury.
3. Once you've completed your deck, send me the link at jen@jenniferworick.com (include your name and e-mail) and I'll post the deck on the blog, using your first name only.
4. After December 21, I'll select a winner and announce it on the blog. You'll win a free copy of Things I Want to Punch in the Face, just in time for Christmas!

J. Gilbert private shopping event this Sunday!

Shopping during December does not exactly put me in the holiday spirit. Between parking sharks, crowds, the clanging of the Salvation Army bell, that certain shopgirl who keeps trying to convince me that a stainless steel water bottle works for everyone on your list, I'm left exhausted.

J. Gilbert Footwear is different. The welcoming Belltown shop is magical. Pop in and you'll find yourself lingering for hours, trying everything on and making friends with sales staff and commenting on how fabulous a jacket looks on another customer. 

Seriously.

That's why I'm so jazzed to be participating in another event at J. Gilbert Footwear this Sunday. From 12-4pm, stop by for a private shopping event. Everything in the store will be 15-percent off, and there will be champagne and hors d'oeuvres. There will be a trunk show with Spark Designs jewelry by Kathy Sparkman and I'll be signing copies of TIWTPITF, a perfect stocking stuffer as you know. You can't beat that with a stick.

Stop by or RSVP here.

Powell's Punch Party tomorrow night!

I'm headed south tomorrow, hitting the seriously awesome Powell's City of Books for a Punch Party. I'll be at the Beaverton store (which is at Cedar Hills Crossing) at 7pm and will be talking about the book, reading favorite entries, hopefully laughing my arse off at others' rants, and hosting a spirited game of Punch in the Face vs Make Out With. It's the last official Punch Party of the fall and I hope to see all of my PDX peeps. As I've said before, something magical happens around this book. People open up and connect as they share common gripes. Like this blog and the book, it makes me seriously happy. 

This is a book that brings people together. Come together tomorrow night!

The SoCal Punch Party post-mortem

Awesome things I’ve heard this weekend during the SoCal Punch Parties that others want to punch in the face:

• Drum solos (particularly while trying to talk post-Punch Party over dinner. The irony that a jazz combo followed the Punch Party is not lost on me)
• The marketing campaign for the Hollywood Bowl: There’s a story in every seat. Um, that’s probably not all that’s in that seat.
• The hope industry: that weekend screenwriting seminar by that dude with zero credits on IMDB is probably not going to net you a development deal.
• Microsoft Tech Support
• The trendiness of “toxins”
• The treacly names of political memoirs
• The amateur peleton. You don’t need to draft behind each other to bike to the office
• Cyclists who wear their ridiculous jerseys and neon spandex shorts everywhere and clack into Peet’s with their clip-ins like those raptors in Jurassic Park
• People who bring all the ingredients to a potluck and start making their dish from scratch
• People who ask you to bring the main dish to the potluck because you’re such a good cook (when they only bring leftover brownies)
• Food restrictions. Gluten-free, sugar-free, dairy-free = taste-free
• Unsalted nuts. Fuck that shit

The list goes on and on, but sadly, my memory doesn’t. Thanks everyone for coming out and sharing your wit and wisdom!

(photo: flickriver.com)

Big wheels keep on turning...

It's been a, ahem, full few weeks promoting TIWTPITF. And we're far from done! In Seattle, we've hosted two amazing Punch Parties with loads of talented people showing up to read their own rants and play a saucy game of "Punch in the Face or Make Out With." Last night, as part of Seattle's Lit Crawl, I was on a Funny Ladies panel reading a Seattle-specific Punch in the Face rant. Needless to say, it was high-larious (as were all of the other talented women on the panel).

But wait, there's more!

I'm now in Southern California for a weekend of punch-drunk love. Bring a rant to tomorrow's Punch Party at Vidiots Annex or Sunday's Punch Party at The York in Highland Park. Things get under way at both venues at 6pm. Bring a friend, bring a diatribe, bring yourself! If you're interested in coming out and punching something, here's the deal:

• I'll introduce you briefly (let me know if there's anything I should mention; I'm all for promoting your stuff too!)
• You'll read your own PITF (loudly, with feeling and hopefully with wild gesticulations)
• Your PITF should be a couple of paragraphs or about 200 words, so we can make sure everyone who wants to share has time (if you really need to get something off your chest and take 10 minutes, so be it; I won't bring out the hook)
• I don't need to see your PITF in advance
• It will be fun! 

And if you're in Seattle or Portland, never fear. Punch Parties are coming your way on October 26 (Queen Anne Books in Seattle) and November 9 (Powells at Cedar Hills Crossing, Beaverton). 

With the holidays breathing down our necks, now is the time to ease the pain by picking up signed copies of TIWTPITF for your stocking stuffers, hostess gifts and Secret Santa presents. It really does have something for everyone.

Check out all my upcoming events here.

(photos: At the U Bookstore Punch Party; My publisher Colleen Dunn Bates and I checking out the book at Urban Outfitters)

Punch Party: Secret Garden Books

The Punch Party train pulled into Secret Garden Books last Friday and a great time was had by all. Who knew punching could be so much fun?

Me.

Yep, just as the blog struck a chord when I started it, so too has the book found its audience. I read a few of  my favorite posts from the book and then invited friends to share their own prepared or impromptu rants. Michaela talked about Seattle’s perpetual “let’s get together,” Janice bitched out the mood lighting in restaurant bathrooms, Kerry punched the whole “body after baby” tabloid stories (“that asshole Giselle” is still making me giggle), and Kathy went off on the invasive insects in Africa who raid her panty drawer. See, the things to punch in the face are as deep and wide as ever.

We then picked three contestants to play a fun round of “Punch in the Face or Make Out With,” with Laurel taking home the prize.

It really was a magical evening and because I like pushing my luck, I’m doing it again and again. You can join the Punch Party this Thursday night at 7pm at U Bookstore and on Oct. 26 at 6:30 at Queen Anne Books. I hope to see you there!

Presenting...The TIWTPITF Book Trailer!

Ta da! In the works for a few months, I'm excited to finally share the trailer for Things I Want to Punch in the Face. I collaborated with the very talented Joni Blecher to create this video, offering up a pupu platter of favorite entries to convey the flavor of the book. Actress Susan Harmon lent her outraged, snarky voiceover talents to the project, and publisher Colleen Dunn Bates and agent Joy Tutela offered their input. If you like it, please repost or pass it along! Thanks!

Today is amazon order day!

I've always said that writing a book is only half of my job. As an author, it's also my responsibility to do everything I can to promote, market, and handsell each title for optimal sales performance (without, hopefully, alienating everyone around me).

To that end, we've set today as the amazon order date; ordering one or several copies on this date will help amazon's algorithmic ordering system to take notice of the book. I'm also setting up Punch Parties in Seattle, LA, and beyond (see the column at right), where you can participate and share and air your own grievances. We are reaching out to long-lead media for hits in publications, on radio, and online.

I think we've got a shot at getting this particular book into a lot of hands (that's my cautiously optimistic way of saying we could sell a buttload of books). I've been overwhelmed by your support of the book and willingness to spread the word. So consider ordering one or several books today from amazon, order it from your local bookseller, or recommend it to a cantankerous, malcontented, snarky friend. I'll be forever grateful (and will place you on the short list of things never, ever to punch in the face).

TIWTPITF Haiku Deck

The talented marketing whiz Catherine Fisher Carr of Secret Sauce Creative (follow her @MamaTweeta) created this awesome Haiku Deck for the book's publication.



Haiku Deck allows you to create cool meme-like slideshows on your iPad. Even better, when you key in your text, it will pull high-quality, Creative Commons-licensed photos for you to choose from. Rad.

Books have arrived!

My box of TIWTPITF advances arrived today and I couldn't be more tickled. They look great and I can't wait to see them in stores and more importantly, in your hands. To that end, I wanted to urge you to mark your calendar; we've set August 23 as the pre-order date on amazon. 

Amazon orders books based on an algorithm and the more books sold in one concentrated time period will help us get on their radar. While my preference is for you to order gobs of copies from your local indie bookstore (which you can do here at IndieBound), I realize everyone loves a bargain and at $6.49, you can buy four on amazon and get free shipping and your holiday gifts well under way. And that's not something to punch in the face.

5 Decisions Away with Matt Paxton Podcast

Let's be honest: I stalked Matt Paxton.

It wasn't hard, actually. I quickly zeroed in on him during the first season of Hoarders. His humor, empathy and take-no-shit-while-actually-shoveling-shit attitude quickly won me and a lot of other viewers over.

I wanted to write a book with him, so I e-mailed him. We were on the phone two days later. He already was working with a coauthor on what would become The Secret Lives of Hoarders, but we kept in touch. Not only is he frank and funny, he's been generous in advising me in various business opportunities and ventures and in commiserating with me over what it means to live the dream.

So when he came to Seattle last week to film an episode of Hoarders for Season 5, I jumped at the chance to meet him and be a guest on his killer podcast, 5 Decisions Away.

It did not disappoint.

We sat in his suite at the Residence Inn, bellies full of beer and fish and chips (when in Seattle, go to the Lockspot for salmon and chips—trust me on this one). And we talked…and talked…you get the idea. 

I don't think two hours went by that fast since I saw Deathly Hallows 2. And it was just as exhilarating as seeing Voldemort finally take that pesky Elder Wand up the arse (metaphorically speaking, natch). I don't know about you but great conversation jazzes me. In the podcast, Matt and I cover everything from being present to getting published to yes, all the various things I want to punch in the face. Matt is not one of them.

5 Decisions Away is available on iTunes. I'm in episode #35: Word. I encourage you to check out his other episodes as well. He really is a hilarious dude, with great anecdotes and a big heart. His mantra of never give up, coupled with his personal trials and tribulations and triumphs, will win you over in short order. He uses hoarding as a launching pad into a much bigger discussion about life, love, and the pursuit of a good raunchy belly laugh.