Monday, January 2, 2012

People who stop at the top of escalators

Um, excuse me. You there at the top of the escalator. No, not you. That guy. The completely unaware yambag checking his watch, looking at a map, looking anywhere but behind him. EXCUSE ME! I’m about to rear-end you, and not in a good way. Where the fuck do you think I and the rest of moving humanity queued up behind you are going to go?

Up your ass, that’s where. Escalators don’t break for boobs, Einstein, and neither does my ire. I’m going to create my own moving walkway and I’m going to call it “Your Back.” Are you listening now?

(photo: perezsolomon.com)

7 comments:

Shawn said...

I hate the people that block the escalator fast lane. I always walk up the escalator on the left side.

One Gal's Trash said...

Have you talked about the phrase "Not a problem" replacing "You're welcome" yet? If not, I'd love to hear your take on it. If so, I'll hide my tail between my legs and skulk off into a corner of the room.
Happy, Face-punching New Year!
xoxo
Pam

FacePuncher said...

Hell yeah, lets not forget about the total douche faces at the airport who think they have to stop at the end of a moving walkway to answer the phone, text or send an email! Those are the incidents where head-butting would make an interesting comeback. I move for more head butts! Love the article, makes me think of my days rolling through the subway system in DC just to find arrant douchers to get it on with!

Cozy Biscuit said...

Oh... I'll punch this in the face!

Piper Alexander said...

Can we also talk about the people that stop just outside of the revolving door? Or the people that take 1 step inside a train car and stop? So many punches in the face due...

Paula K. Cravens said...

Omigod,you are the voice inside my head.

Parabolic Muse said...

I am driven, once more, to comment. Forgiveth that I liveth, but seriously. I must speaketh.

I HATE these fuckwads! GEt OUT of the way. You and all people who stand in the WALKING transept of every museum, airport, grocery, or mall. The STANDING area is furthest away possible from the WALKING area.

These trogs are hereby compelled by me to Eat SHIT and DIE.

(And I'm glad you reminded me of this just as I"m about to drive in rush hour traffic.)