Sunday, December 11, 2011

Inexplicable bruises


I’m clumsy. That’s no surprise to anyone who knows about my inner ear imbalance. But riddle me Alzheimer’s: when exactly did I drive the back of my calf into a wall, causing it to look like a bruised pear? Did I fall on the inside of my forearm in the last 48 hours? And why exactly is my index finger puffed up?

I like things rough as much as the next gal, but it seems to me that I actually have to make contact with someone or something in order to sport a little friendly bruising. When a mysterious mark on my right earlobe appears, I think it’s time to install some motion-censor cameras because the only logical answer is paranormal activity.

(photo: prettyfeathers.com)

7 comments:

Yeltzman said...

I'd suggest it may be "active dreaming" where you perform actions in your sleep ........... or rohypnol.

Kimbopolo said...

I have the same thing. It's only a matter of time before I can't be left alone in the house.

Yet Another Steve said...

Totally with ya there. I bang, cut or bash myself, yell something obscene, forget all about it and an hour later look at the bruise and/or the blood and think "WTF...?!!" Thank heaven we heal quickly.

Jenny K. Lyon said...

Vitamin c helps a lot with bruising.

CarlaCarlaCarlaCarla said...

Good news! Wikipedia · Bruise suggests they're aren't necessarily a sign of injury. Possibilities...

· platelet or coagulation disorders
· leukemia
· meningoccocal infection
· internal bleeding
· certain types of cancer

See Jen, your house isn't haunted after all :-)

Shanna said...

I wake up with mystery bruises too. I was told by a doctor, years ago, that it is a virus in my system since it happens on a cyclical basis and not all the dang time. Basically I was told to just suck it up. Good luck.

SkitzoLeezra said...

You are probably being raped by a poltergeist.

Which is better than leukemia or certain types of cancer.