Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Crocs

I used to think Birkenstocks were bad.

Then I got a load of Crocs. Shaped like a pair of kitchen or gardening clogs, or maybe a bludgeon (these clown shoes give new meaning to the term “clubbed foot”), Crocs have spread like a rubber foot fungus around the world. I suppose the holes in the Croslite upper are designed to help sweaty feet breathe, but I think they act as an odor diffuser.

Crocophiles also cry comfort about these eye blisters. I’m not buying it. There are thousands of footwear brands that are comfortable and don’t look like Fred Flintstone made them on his lunch break. The Dutch used to wear wooden boats on their feet because they didn’t have any other choice in material. What’s your excuse? Do you also wear your pajamas to do your grocery shopping?

The footwear equivalent of a white flag, Crocs pretty much announce that you’ve given up. So unless you want to stand trial for a serious fashion crime, you’d best beg for mercy and get yourself a pair of cute Earth Shoes.

(photo: melbourne.metblogs.com)


10 comments:

nata_says_so said...

I was once at a church, and looked up to see...the priest was wearing white crocs.

You heard me.

These things all need to die in a fire. And I call them things because I refuse to accept that they are shoes.

downfromtheledge said...

crocs = an admission to the world: i am so incapable of independent judgment regarding what is remotely attractive to wear on my body that i will follow literally ANY trend the other sheep set for me.

Amaranthine said...

Aww, come on! They're comfortable-I live in them. I have two pairs. I like to wear them to the beach because you can wear them in the water and on the sand, and they dry off fast.

Jessie said...

I completely agree and have been dead set against the croc phenomenom since the beginning! I strike against crocs!

Yet Another Steve said...

The people who wear crocs ARE the people who wear their pajamas to the grocery store, and go out to get the morning paper in their underwear.

Lostinloops said...

When I first got a load of these processed clogs of plastic, I thought the person wearing them had gotten them at a dirty thrift store in Tijuana. Unfortunately, the rubbery mutations have become more and more normal to see. Ugh, fashion trends today just keep getting stupider. PS: you next one on fashion should be on Abercrombie. Shudder, I get scared just thinking about that dark cave of homosexuality.

Magoo said...

AMEN SISTER!!!! i have been hating things wretched things since the beginning. i have NO IDEA why people would waster their money on that crap. here they sell them at Halmark, which i thought was an upscale card store...WRONG. i am SO HAPPY that there are other people out there who hate these stupid ass excuse for shoes!!!

Zazzu said...

Thank you for this entry.

Some Croc fans do wear pajamas to the grocery store. The rest wear Snuggies to the grocery store. Yes...Snuggies as clothing to wear in public.

Just because something is trendy doesn't make it okay. Avocado green shag carpeting used to be trendy, but it was NEVER, EVER okay. Same deal with Crocs.

jcoberly1 said...

I'm not big on these things either. My kid has a pair that someone else bought for her, they were by the door so I put them on for a second to go outside, not only are these things ugly but they are uncomfortable too.

Anonymous said...

They're cute on little kids