Friday, July 8, 2011

Calorie-laden beverages

I've long suspected Starbucks mochachocalattes are chock full of death but like most people, didn’t think that hoovering one once in a while was a big whoop.

I was reading my Glamour mag in the tub as I’m wont to do when I came across this atrosh fact (see photo). One 32-ounce Dunkin Donuts Coffee Coolatta® with cream plus whipped cream is—wait for it—904 calories and 57 grams of fat. NINE HUNDRED FOUR FATASS, ARTERY-CLOGGING, LOVE-HANDLE-INDUCING CALORIES! There’s not even any booze in it! A company has to work hard to add that many calories to a cup. If you’re on a diet and counting calories, that’s 3/4ths of your day’s total caloric intake. I’m all for personal responsibility, but chucklehead companies like Dunkin Donuts and Starbucks are reprehensible for putting this gutbomb on the menu.


With a nod to Jeff Foxworthy, you might be drinking your doom if…
  • there’s whipped cream on top of cream
  • the cup could be used as a planter or a punch bowl
  • if the beverage® has a registered symbol after its name
  • the beverage’s name is nothing found in a dictionary
  • the drink contains nothing found in nature

I know this isn’t exactly a laff riot, but neither is your health.

6 comments:

Shieldmaiden96 said...

My father has always said that if you have to put that much crap in your coffee, you don't really like coffee.

downfromtheledge said...

my sister has a habit of 2-3 of these a day (although it's Panera's version). unreal, huh?

Liz said...

Even the "better" option has a ridiculous amount of calories for a breakfast meal...jeez

Kimbopolo said...

Unfreakinbelievable!!!

Who is lining up to buy this crap and how much do we have to pay for their healthcare?

Jersey Girl said...

...is there really any wonder why the American population is ginormous?

Harmonie said...

LOL@ nothing found in nature.