I was reading my Glamour mag in the tub as I’m wont to do when I came across this atrosh fact (see photo). One 32-ounce Dunkin Donuts Coffee Coolatta® with cream plus whipped cream is—wait for it—904 calories and 57 grams of fat. NINE HUNDRED FOUR FATASS, ARTERY-CLOGGING, LOVE-HANDLE-INDUCING CALORIES! There’s not even any booze in it! A company has to work hard to add that many calories to a cup. If you’re on a diet and counting calories, that’s 3/4ths of your day’s total caloric intake. I’m all for personal responsibility, but chucklehead companies like Dunkin Donuts and Starbucks are reprehensible for putting this gutbomb on the menu.
With a nod to Jeff Foxworthy, you might be drinking your doom if…
- there’s whipped cream on top of cream
- the cup could be used as a planter or a punch bowl
- if the beverage® has a registered symbol after its name
- the beverage’s name is nothing found in a dictionary
- the drink contains nothing found in nature
I know this isn’t exactly a laff riot, but neither is your health.