Long toenails

Riddle me this, ladyhawke:

Are you trying to pick up small rodents during flight?

Because that’s the only reason I can imagine that you’re clicking along with those talons looping over your flip-flops like a grounded raptor.

Isn’t there a point where life and practicality might suggest that you whittle those can-openers off? Like, for instance, when putting on a closed-toe shoe? Or your basic bipedal walking?

Clip, saw, file, chew, and otherwise hack those claws off or I’m going to have to sic an actual bird of prey on your ungroomed hooves. Their beaks can clip those nails in no time.

(photo: longtoenails.org)